Multiple Sclerosis Sucks!

It has been quite awhile since my last post, but once again, Multiple Sclerosis came up when my life was going great and kicked my butt. My nursing job was offered back to me in June after I left a year ago because of this disease. I love nursing so much but it is a very physical job. My co-workers quickly picked up on my left leg drag when I get tired and accommodate me in so many ways. Fortunately, this Urgent Care is very compassionate, understanding, and willing to work with me when MS rears its ugly head.
A little background might be helpful to understand how this all began. In 1999, I began EMT classes and had visions of becoming a Paramedic. I love emergency medicine and will admit, adrenaline rushes are addicting! During the course of my classes, it was required that I get a TB skin test and begin the set of three Hepatitis B vaccines. After the first Hep B shot, I got pretty sick and thought I had a bout of flu. The second shot brought me to my knees, literally. I didn't walk for nearly a month. I talked to my doctor, the CDC, and researched Hepatitis B vaccine and side effects. CDC's response was that there was no proof that Hep B caused any health issues. The Doctor told me I was depressed and put me on an antidepressant. My life continued on, as did my career as an EMT. A year later, the leg weakness began again. I went back to the doctor and he sent me on to the first of several neurologists. Did I mention I despise Neurologists? This neurologist heard my symptoms and that these began after my Hep B vaccine. He told me that I should try another antidepressant because the one I was on was obviously not working anymore. Once again, I followed the doctor's orders and began the new antidepressant. To make a long story short, this pattern continued through four neurologists over a five year period and the primary doctor sent me to a rheumatologist in this span of time, too. The bills from the neurologists obviously were not sufficient! By this time, I truly was depressed and so tired of hearing there was nothing wrong with me, yet no testing was done to determine this.
During the summer of 2004, I spent the entire night on the ambulance for two separate calls for motor vehicle accidents. When we pulled into town after the second accident, I thought the exhaustion and nausea could be accredited to the physical work involved with both calls and the growling of my stomach. I went home and went straight to bed. This was the beginning of six full weeks of vertigo, loss of balance, and weeks spent on the bathroom floor. If I lifted my head, the room began to spin, and the vomitting began. I told my husband I wasn't going to the doctor or a neurologist again. This was all in my head and this too shall pass. When the vomitting finally stopped and the room only spun when I turned my head, I decided I needed to find another doctor. I went to a general medicine doctor in Gillette. I still had no balance and it was very obvious. The doctor immediately noted the nystagmus, the lack of balance, and other neurological deficits. She said that I was experiencing a severe vertigo episode, but that she felt there was something neurological going on with me. I began to cry and told her I was not going to another neurologist. She said she would order a MRI of my brain and we would come up with a plan of action after that. After the MRI results were sent to Dr. Thomas, she called and said she needed a spinal tap. She would set up an appointment after the results of the spinal tap came back. Did I mention I despise needles, especially in my spine? I went anyway and had the spinal tap. A day later, my doctor called and said she would like to see me and I should bring my husband. I knew she found something and my imagination went wild. That was a long 24 hour period. The next day I was told that the lumbar puncture showed I had oligoclonal bands in my spinal fluid and lesions in my brain. I had multiple sclerosis. My mother came to the appointment along with my husband, and my Mom began to cry while I sat there and listened to the doctor as she told me I needed to find a neurologist. That last statement was the thing that nearly made me burst into tears. When we left the doctor's office, my Mom asked me why I wasn't more upset, why I was acting like I didn't hear the doctor. I took a deep breath and told my Mom that I finally had a name for what was wrong with me. And yes, it was all in my head and in my spine, but I now had a name for what was wrong with me, something to fight against, and something to treat with medicines! Needless to say, that was easier said than done.

Here comes the sun and I say, "IT'S ALRIGHT!"

Hey, Natasha, do you think Mom knows we're out?

Our weather was unseasonably frigid last week. My goats were not happy to see the wet snow, chilly winds, and cramped accomodations in the barns. This week, a complete temperature turn around. Although we are veterans in drastic weather changes in Wyoming, no one had warned my goat "newbies" about Wyoming weather. Out of my eight goats, six have not had the pleasure of experiencing a Wyoming winter up to this point in their short little lives. Regardless, I spent last week with snotty goat noses and they were just like little kids when I tried to wipe their noses. They tried to throw their heads back and forth, back up, lower their heads and avoid the paper towel at all costs! Mom finally prevailed but they sure spent last week giving me a wide path. Needless to say, no one was more thankful for sunshine than stir-crazy goats. I had decided on the first day of snow when the baby of the herd, Sweet Pea was forced out into the cold by Lyrical that Robert was going to have to separate the big goat pen into two pens. The two big girls Natasha and Lyrical had to be penned up in the milking barn until the separation could be done this week. I don't believe they thought Dad was quick enough. Thankfully, Robert got the pen separated so the kids have the barn without Natasha and Lyrical bossing them around. The big girls seem happy not to be bother with silly kid games. Now Javar and Prince are so thankful to be out of their barn and spent the day sunbathing! I spent my time cleaning the hay and goat pebbles out of the barn. Amazing how quickly it piles up when the goats don't go outside for a few days. Regardless, everyone seemed so happy to be free. Forecast shows rain for Tuesday but I will keep my fingers crossed. I was not ready for winter to begin so soon and, obviously, neither were the kids. I hope they get ready quickly because it is inevitable that the snow will fly and stick for a few months. I did notice this week that the kids were getting fluffy so maybe Mother Nature just needed to nudge them a little last week. I truly hope they don't experience snotty noses every time it is cold and wet but all the noses are clear of mucous right now. I guess it was quickly remedied without intervention from me. Robert questioned me on whether I thought we had everyone taken care of for a little while. He is always building pens, repairing barns, building barns, reinforcing fences and separating areas for me. I told him I thought we were fine.....well, until kidding season! :)

Flu, flu, go away.....

I know I should be thankful for a busy work day for our little Urgent Care, but have seen so many children running dangerously high fevers and looking like walking zombies. These kids are SICK! So many positive flu tests that I see pink lines in my sleep. Our Urgent Care is one of the only clinics that still has regular influenza vaccines in Gillette but we are racing through our supply at a record pace. In 8 days, we have depleted 125 flu tests, we saw 73 patients in one 12 hour day, many leaving because it was standing room only and a three hour wait. I thank God for job security but didn't expect it to come in the form of a near pandemic. Just when we have clinical staff scheduled to handle the increased patient load, our clinic is scheduled to receive the "swine flu" nasal spray. This is an attenuated vaccination which means it is a live virus but it has been weakened. Great precautions are needed for people who get this form of vaccine. Pregnancy, children under 2, adults over 50, people with a weakened immune system are all contraindications for this vaccine. Because I regularly get IV steroids to knock out my immune system, I am being very cautious. We have a HEPA filter and a room specifically set up for the administration of our vaccinations and I will stay clear of this room. The CDC states that the transmission of the H1N1 virus by people who received the vaccine was rare. I would have prefered the term "impossible" to be used but I am thankful that I was warned. So, my blogging will be slow until.......probably February, my hope for all is to stay healthy, wash hands frequently, and don't spend too much time around crowds.

"Bucking the system"

Last week was marked by a tough day. Robert and I had decided to try to get the fencing done for the buck pen and none to soon, either! Javar started the romance talking to his pen mates while I was cracking the whip telling hubby, "We've got to get him out of there or we're going to be bringing babies home come February because we'll have snow up to our elbows!" Of course, a little bit of my anxiety and impatience came from the excitement about bringing the new addition home. It seemed it was a day for friends to stop by and visit too, but after four hours at the corrals, Robert asked if I was ready to go get Nacho. He didn't need to ask twice. We jumped on the four wheeler and began the trek over to get Nacho. I brought him one of our collars and a leash wondering what fun I would have luring this poor goat away from his security and family. I put the collar on the boy and to my amazement, he acted as though this was an everyday occurence! We began the trot back to our pen and he happily galloped next to me only stopping occasionally to chop on a green weed.
We decided Javar and Nacho had to be put in the new pen with the new digs at the same time so no one had established dominance. Being a woman of advancing age, college-educated, experienced with animals, I must shamefully admit I had a complete blonde moment, brain-fart, moment of insanity, whatever one will call it. Breeding season is NOT the time to introduce two bucks of nearly equal size, especially when the two older does were obviously very much in season. Within two minutes of introductions, they decided to attempt to knock each other into submission. Nacho has a rounded scur on the top of his head that found a spot on Javar's head and opened up a gusher! Javar dropped to his knees, shook his head and immediately began rearing back up at Nacho! He may not be too smart but he is determined. Nothing could deter these two. I cannot see an animal suffering at all, especially in the name of building my show herd and began to feel deep guilt building. It was my fault that Javar was knocked senseless and now bleeding! Robert said, "Oh, I am not building one more barn! The paint on this one is not even dry." I weighed my options, talked to Robert, watched Javar shake the blood off his face and decided this was not meant to be. I called Anne and walked Nacho home. Javar has healed up and he enjoys our wether Prince's companionship! If we do this again, it won't be the weekthe does are ovulating, I work an extra 12 hour shift, and take on the nursing supervisor position at work. I think my emotions were already on overload but everyone seems to be happier over this decision.

Buck Barn (part II)

Okay, the building of the buck barn is taking a wee bit longer than we had expected, but isn't that the way it is with all projects? It was a slow process. Our attempts to pair energy levels with work schedules and the Wyoming weather is interesting to say the least. One thing I can say about Robert is that once he starts working, it nearly takes an act of Congress to get him to stop, that or the promise of a meal. By the time he decides to take a break, I am truly afraid to sit down thinking I may not be able to regain the strength to get back on my feet. This is really my project, my goats, and my request so you would think I might be a little more ambitious but ambition beat foot out of this situation long ago! When we began this project, we took a notebook into to Gillette and started with a list of bare necessities to gain an idea of what this was going to entail. Particle board, trim board, paint, posts, sack crete, ect. began adding up. We priced everything as Robert went over the blue prints in his head, came home and added it all for a grand total. It was less than we had expected but Robert reassured me that there are always hidden costs!

Little did I know that someone would help themselves to our tools we left in the main barn. Robert's tool box for barn use is a five gallon bucket that collects all sorts of odds and ends. When we went to the barn for our second day we discovered the entire bucket gone. Now someone ended up with an assortment of nails, screws, fencing staples, tie wire, and pliers but they also ended up with Robert's saws-all. I truly despise someone who thinks they are entitled to something they are unwilling to work for and this is no exception. It shut down our productivity for the day and the loss took the wind out of our sails! I know this isn't what Robert meant by hidden costs, right? On the brighter side of things, all eight goats were fine but none of them were talking, Robert got a new, albeit lesser value reciprocating saw, and finally, the barn work continues. This week Robert goes back to work and I have added two extra days to my work-week and we are still not quite done. We did have a nice break celebrating our 21st Anniversary in the midst of all this chaos this week so there is always something to be thankful for in our lives. The barn will wait and hopefully, the bucks are patient with us. Natasha, seen in the background of this picture, assures us that she will keep a closer eye on this tool bucket for Dad! We'll be attempting to finish up this job this coming weekend. Fingers crossed and good thoughts for us please!

Buck Barn!

Well, it doesn't look like much but this is the beginning of our new buck barn. Between me going back to work as a nurse, Robert working 12 hour shifts, and the days already getting shorter, this has been a slow endeavor.
We are going to keep our two bucks in an 8X8 barn and hope this will be sufficient. I believe that this may be my husband's subtle attempt at limiting my number of bucks. I thank Anne so much for being patient and holding Nacho for us while we build this barn.

I do have to admit, it was good for me to go visit Nacho the other day. He is housed with two other bucks and they seem to enjoy the bachelor life for now, but the large, older, and more experienced buck is starting to think it's about time to put on his "cologne" and bulk up to impress the ladies. Although some may find his scent enticing, I do not, nor would anyone else with a human nose! Thank goodness that Robert had already begun this barn before I took him over to meet Nacho! He walked up and the "aroma" hit him and knocked him backwards. I guess the memory of this smell is forgotten in a mere nine years much like the lack of memory mothers experience with labor when they choose to have another child. The look in my dear husband's eye was almost as funny as the shutter that overcame his entire body. He instantly wanted to know why I wanted one of these stinky creatures, let alone two! I then explained the price, equipment involved, and success rate of artificial insemination using the experience I gained from four years of Speech and Debate. The visit with Nacho was cut short and Robert said nothing more.

I do hope that Robert takes some pride and comfort in the thought that Javar, our other buck went over to the new buck barn, examined it, and then spent a fair amount of time this morning defending his new pad from Natasha's rude, uninvited entrance through the wall instead of using the door. I think Robert gained Javar's approval but Natasha, Lyrical and the rest of the girls would like a new place, too.

Bitten by the Caprine bug!

My husband, who truly is one of the most easy-going, supp0rtive and kind people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting has nearly reached the end of his rope with me, so it's time for me to call it to an end. 'What are you ending?' you may ask, and I shall respond with 'my goat obsession!' Okay, "end" may be a little overly dramatic, "tone-down" is closer to the truth. I did talk hubby into attending the Wyoming State Fair and the goat show this last weekend and he "happily" obliged me. One good reason to attend a dairy goat show is to truly gauge what kind of lines you have, what qualities you want to intensify and which ones you need to weed out of the breeding programs. This last show was quite a wake-up call for me and a point for my husband to say, "I told you so!". I have my favorite milking doe in our little herd and he has his favorite. Needless to say, these two are not the same goat. Robert's favorite goat is the first milking doe we got and she can put out some milk. I like the shape and capacity of her udder but she is "fluffy". She definitely puts all her groceries to good use and we get asked often if she is pregnant with triplets again. Natasha is our sweet short and fat girl, but we love her. My favorite doe, Lyrical is the opitome of my idea of a dairy goat. She is tall, slender and very dainty. Her udder is nice and she milks decently, but not the quantity that Natasha puts in the bucket. I laughed the other day when my husband told me that Natasha would beat Lyrical in the show ring. I was the one who helped our kids build their show herd all those years ago and I take pride in researching the qualities that judges look for in placing the National champions. Well, obviously the judge for the goat show looks for different traits in goats than I do, but that is my point on the reason I need to keep going to these shows. Nearly every goat he put up in the top winners was in my eyes "fluffy" and slightly squatty in my humble opinion, but did have beautiful udders. I do like to see a deep chested goat, but was surprised this judge looked for "meaty" girls. I didn't say anything hoping that the dear hubby didn't notice these goats and the characteristics this judge found irresistable but of course, he waited until we were just in the vehicle on our way home before he said, "Told you that Natasha would beat Lyrical!" I truly hope it did make him feel better that he may have been right, but I still got the last laugh because during the show, I bought a purebred buck that I had my eye on for months but he already had been sold. THANK YOU SO MUCH ANNE! :) Robert will be spending this weekend building my buck shed so please send a little pity his way, he's probably going to need it. Nacho Man, we can't wait to bring you home.